Blog Reflection

Blog Reflection-

 

This was my first-time blogging, ever. I used to keep a journal to write my random ideas and thoughts into but for some reason I felt like I outgrew that part in my life. My parents purchased diaries for me as a girl, but I always used them for other purposes.

 

How do I feel about blogging?

Well at first, I was apprehensive because I did not know what I was going to blog about. I would not have started blogging if it wasn’t for a grade. I did not think that I had anything interesting or worth talking about to blog. Before I began my blogging journey, I read blogs on WordPress to see what blogging was all about. I read blogs from all kinds of point of views. I started to see that blogging was just a virtual journal of thoughts, that could potentially make someone’s day or help someone that is having a hard time with the same things.

 

Will I continue to blog?

Yes!! As I am attempting to type this reflection, I get a text from a friend and it sort of puts me in my feelings. I want to be that strong supportive friend. That friend that listens and gives advice the way I would want it given to me.

 

I wish that I started blogging when it was first introduced to me. I could have a million-blog post by now with all of the random thoughts that I have throughout the day. I could blog daily about how work has been. Working in childcare, your days are different from one another.  My job has a blog station online where certain teachers get on to talk to a group of people to help make their situation better.

 

I would have to admit that I took this class for a joke in the beginning. I thought that me blogging would be easy! It is actually hard work. You have to make sure that what you are blogging about is catching the audience attention. All of my post was thought out prior to typing them. I wanted to make sure that I was able to capture someone in the audience with my blogs. I often times had people to like my post or to comment on them. This made me feel accomplished! I did not know what I was doing so I began to talk about my personal life. I pretended that the audience was a parent or a best friend. Someone that I was close to and that cared for what I had to say. This made me comfortable to talk about certain topics on my blog. I am not sure if people are able to feel the emotion behind my blogs but typing them, I definitely had some tears to fall down my face. I added real pictures of my family. I seriously let people into my daily life with the post “Super Mom or Super Crazy.” That has to be the most powerful post because it is something that I deal with on a daily basis.

 

I hope that you have enjoyed reading and following my blog post. I plan on continuing but it will be in my leisure this time and not for a grade!

Dream Vacation

Do you ever look at pictures online and wish you were there? I researched “tropical beaches” and this was the result. I am in love with these photos. I am not sure where there are but I want to be there!

This picture makes me want to just lie out in the sand with a book  or just to take a nap. I can only hope that the sun wasn’t beaming down on me while doing either one.

This picture makes me want to have a pineapple drink (because I don’t like coconut) in my hand, a black bathing suit on and shades! I can sit there for a long time just taking in the amazing view.

This is simply beautiful! This makes me want to be a kid and run and skip across the sand. I could even turn this into a photo shoot just so I can use my body to make a shadow/dark spot in the picture. This is so relaxing! I love beaches!

When I went to Puerto Rico, 2 years ago, it was literally me living a dream! The beach there is breathtakinlgy beautiful! It was amazing to see God’s creation and how perfect he made it.

My next trip will be to the Bahamas! I love tropical adventures! I also want to visit Bora Bora. That place is romantic and the memories that can be made that is what have me excited about going!

Wiser With Age

As a child, I was always the kid that my mom had to FORCE to clean my room. I would sleep with clothes on my bed and my closet was a death trap! I can remember my mom telling me that she was scared to go into my room because she thought something would jump on her and that would be her death sentence!

Now that I am older and I have my own home, I am the same way with my children. I haven’t always been this way  but the older I get, I can see why my mom was so hard on me with my room.

My mom would always fuss when the living room wasn’t clean. “This is the first thing people see when they enter your home. If you want to impress the people that are coming over, make sure that what they see first is CLEAN!” When I come home, this is the first thing I see when I open my door. If there is something in the way that makes the living room look less than clean or organized, I have a fit just like my mom did!

Her speech on the kitchen was “You can’t cook clean food in a dirty kitchen. If the kitchen is dirty the food will be too.” This rings in my head before cooking. Earlier today my children and I went to food lion and upon our return, I mentioned to them that we needed to clean the kitchen before we cook. (My kitchen was dirty but there were dishes in the sink from last night.)

Last but not least, when you enter the home, the smell of trash should not hit you the face and greet you. THIS IS MY ULTIMATE PET PEEVE!!! I can not stand to come home and smell trash! It really bothers me! I try to make sure that if it is something that we are cooking with an odor, such as fish, we take that trash out at night. That can NOT stay in the house over night. Trash that sits over night in the house, you don’t think about in the morning. Then when you come home, the first thing you smell is a horrible smell of fish! Yuck!

With this being said, I am older now and I am glad that my mother was able to instill those values into me even though I wasn’t trying to listen to them then. I am working on correcting my children as well.

With my children, their bathroom is also the guest bathroom. Needless to say, this bathroom HAS to always be clean! They periodically forget to pick up their clothes from showering and forget to empty the trash in the bathroom. The sink always have dried up toothpaste in the bottom and it really irks me to see it! I have the children on a cleaning schedule for their bathroom. This way the bathroom does not go without attention and it will always be presentable for unexpected guest.

I recently purchased a grill for my husband. He put it together INSIDE the house because of the weather. This was 2 weeks ago and it is still in my kitchen. I am beginning to have negative feelings towards his grill that I purchased for him. I really want it to go outside where it belongs but I am not sure if it is completed before I move it myself. It should not be in the house and it is an eye sore.

With age, I have grown into my mother!! I am starting to see things as if she does and its beginning to scary me!

A few weeks ago, I went to my job to organize my classroom because it was a junk hole. It took me two days to organize things and make it presentable for guest. Having organization now makes me happy. I don’t understand how I lived the way I did in my adolescence!

AMAZING NEWS!!

GUESS WHAT?????

MY CHILDREN GO TO SCHOOL TOMORROW!

But the downside to it it that it is a three hour delay…

That doesn’t even make sense! I mean, I know that sending the children on a delay is better than them not going at all and that means thats one less day that they have to make up. I prefer a 2 hour delay or not at all. 3 hour delay means that my children can not be dropped off at school until 10:15am! I have to be at work at 8:00am! What am I going to do? Maybe I can call my amazing daddy and see if he minds taking my children in the morning for me.

He sent me a text to let me know that we are under a delay for school. I wonder if we will have one for my job… that will make things a little better for me.

Big Supporters (My Cheerleaders)

Have you ever worked for a business that promoted education amongst their staff? I mean, really push the issue of you bettering yourself?

I was first introduced to PIL as a High School student at the age of 16.  I knew I wanted to work and be a part of the family, but I wasn’t at the “required” age. I would come during my school day to volunteer to satisfy my high school requirements. Upon the last class, an employee pulled me to the side and told me that I needed to apply because she could tell that this was my niche. She handed me an application and like most teenagers, I lost it. I was shy some community service hours, which was another requirement in my senior year in high school. I couldn’t find anywhere that would be willing to work with my schedule cause I was already working a part time job. I go back to PIL and beg them to allow me to do my community service hours. This time, another lady tells me that I should apply and made sure that I turned it in before I left. I got a call within days from Deborah and she wanted to interview me. It wasn’t 5 mins into the interview that Deborah saw something in me, maybe the same thing that the other ladies saw, that made her hire me while in the interview. As I sat in the resource room as a scared and nervous pregnant teenager, I realized that I was about to embark on something amazing!

 

I started working at PIL in May of 2006, a month before I graduated from high school. PIL worked with me, for I was a high school student and pregnant. After graduating, I started working more hours but as I mentioned before, I was pregnant and at this point I was 6 months. Time kept moving as my baby grew and grew. In August of 2006, while working in the Polar Bear classroom, I started having pain and was rushed to the hospital. I was indeed in labor but I was 2 months early. Here I am again, scared and nervous. I was scared that I was about to have my first child prematurally and nervous that I was going to lose my job. Norma reassured me and told me that she wanted me to have a healthy child and told me not to return to work until AFTER my 6 weeks. I was relieved!

 

Upon returning to work, Norma and Deborah called me in the office and had a “heart to heart” with me.  I cant remember exactly what was said but I do remember them telling me that they wanted me to go back to school, even if it takes a while, and not to just settle for a high school diploma.  When I’m ready to take that step, to let them know.

 

Months go by and start to “fit” in more and I start to see what were strangers, as family members. I get up the nerve to revisit the Norma/Deborah conversation and of course, they remembered what they told me. They helped me fill out the paper work to start taking classes at RCCC so that I can obtain my credentials. I remember Deborah telling me that this was a start to becoming a classroom teacher. After the credential class, I move classrooms to find the perfect age group and to get the experience with working in different age groups. Ashlee’s class was my permanent spot for a while. I worked with Ashlee and as Ashlee’s sub for months! Ashlee was a huge influence to my love for children. I was able to learn that I could be me and silly while working with children and they didn’t care how silly I looked doing it. If I was fun, they were having a great time.

From Ashlee’s class, my career at PIL started to blossom. I have worked in EVERY class at PIL besides the Lambs and the Seahorses.

As the years go by, I get married and have 2 more children. All while of course still working at PIL. I worked at PIL for 6.5 years before whatever reason, I decided to leave. I end my journey at PIL after everyone here gave me the love and knowledge a good family member should. I was gone for about 3.5 years before I realized that something was missing. Not sure why it took me that long to notice it but I ended up back at PIL. When I sent Norma an email about possibly returning, I remember her asking me what is something NEW that I could bring to the PIL pot to not only make myself better for them but those around me. As hard as it is to market myself, I did. I had to tell Norma, the very person that was there for me when I needed a chance to live out my dream, the one that accepted that pregnant 18 year old, that I was a “rare jewel, an essential piece to the PIL puzzle.

I have made some choices in the past that have resulted in me leaving PIL for the second time. This time, it only took me 45 days to realize that I cant be the Aleshya I want to be if I’m not at PIL. Nowhere else can see the potential inside me, my passion, my drive, my love for children. Here I feel appreciated, valued, important… I feel like im with family. PIL has taught me to appreciate the very things that others may take for granted. I love being able to wake up every morning throughout the week, knowing that I am doing my part to make a difference in someone elses life. Whether that’s in a childs life or the parents life that I serve daily.

PIL has taken me for what I was and help make me who I am. I am now coachable, reliable, determined, flexible and most of all PROFESSIONAL!

What other place do you know motivates you to become a better you? Ensures that your goals are being met? Holds you accountable? Helps you to succeed? Understands when kids are sick and you need time off?

Besides my biological family, my work family are HUGE supporters of my future, a better me and a happy me! I love working at my job!

Winter Break

Oh my gosh! What was I thinking? Taking a class over Christmas break… REALLY?? Am I crazy??

For the first time ever, I decided to take a “small” class over the holidays because it will keep me on my toes for the next semester and I won’t lose the homework mindset. Well, the class that I am required to take is nothing small. I have homework every night besides Christmas and New Years day. That includes the weekends! WOW! I really did it this time!

Before I got the syllabus for this class, I said that I should plan a solo trip to celebrate me being one step closer to graduating. I took December 22nd  through January 3rd off. My plan was to travel somewhere to to shop, receive a very relaxing massage, spend the night and return home the next day. I have never done this alone and I am excited to be able to have this time to myself. I need to reconnect with who I am and have some mother fun. I plan on doing this December 22 before christmas so that I am not taking anything away from my children’s happiness on Christmas day.

With the load of homework that I have, it seems like me going away for a day might be too much to ask for. I still want this to happen but will it be the best time to go when I have a load of homework that needs to be completed? Should I just take the risk and go for what makes me happy and complete my homework in my down time when I am alone on my trip? Decisions, decisions.

I am torn between business and pleasure when I want them both.

What would you do?

 

My Besties… Diamonds

 

Like most women, we have several best friends and we can connect with them on certain levels than we can with others.  I have 3 best friends and they all are special to me but are very different.

Pooh, my best friend for at least 22 years, is the friend that i grew up with, went to school with, families know each other and have gone to church together with. She is also the friend that is easily tempered. She does not care that you have an opinion because her side is the right side. When she is upset, her side does hold a lot of weight and makes tons of sense. Her way of executing her feelings are over the top but I love her regardless. She says that I am too (damn) nice and people should appreciate it. Not everyone cares the way I do. Pooh, is married to a man that is in the service but gets sent on long distance trips that she is welcome to attend. Right now she is in Korea and I haven’t seen her since July 4th. Before that, they were in Sadi Arabia for 2 years. Her children have a passport that is quite the dream!

Domi, my friend that became a friend through our children. My dad and her dad knew each other from past experiences and I knew her dad as well but NEVER heard about her. Domi is the friend that is religious based. No matter what the issue, she will speak life over the situation and will check on you when you are down. She will invite you to church, out to eat but will not drink. She is the epitome of a amazing mother, wife and daughter. I met her in person plenty of times but never knew that she was the daughter of a local, yet favorite cop. My dad took my girls to school one day and told her to find me on Facebook. That same day, she sent me a message and we have been friends every since. We have been friends for 3 years. We don’t talk every day but when we do, we pick up where we left off and she is just a breath of fresh air to me. Domi calls me her sunshine. She says that no matter the situation, I can find the silver lining in it. She loves me and I love her. I will forever be her sunshine!

Lina, my newly awarded best friend. We met while working at the current business. She is a beautiful soul that is very mature! The difference between her and the other 2 is that she is 25 and the others are 29 or 30. Lina is my traveling partner. She introduced me to flying and made sure that I wasn’t scared when we took off. We became friends by talking and working side by side. Lina was planning a trip to Puerto Rico and I made the comment “I wish I could go! I will pay my own ticket and my part of the room!” She heard me, took me seriously. She told me what I was obligated to pay and that is how we formed our bond. I was able to explore something other than North Carolina and fly for the first time. Lina is the kind of friend that will tell you how she feels with a sweet and mellow tone.  She can tell you the absolute truth and you receive it like a compliment instead of a insult. Thats how easy she puts it. We have been friends for 2 years and it has felt like FOREVER!

These ladies are my favorite ladies! They understand what I don’t say, my emotions, my body language, my emotions via text, everything! They are very attentive and will act accordingly to meet my feelings. This is what I always wanted in a best friend. Even though we don’t talk everyday, see each other every day, we love each other like nothing else.

I love you! Thank you for always being there for me when I need you. I can never tell you how much I appreciate your friendship and what you add to my life!

 

Jesse Sr.

My DADDY!

This man has a heart of gold. He loves from his heart and it shows no matter what. Sometimes he can be a little rough around the ends but thats because he loves hard and sometimes his words don’t match his heart. Let me start to tell you about this man that God blessed me with…

All of my life, I have ALWAYS had this amazing man to stand by me and love me regardless. The love of a father is just as unconditional as a mother.

Jesse Sr., my daddy, is simply amazing. He was in the army while my mother was pregnant with me. Once I was born, he thought that him being gone from her and now two children would be too much for her. My daddy got out of the service and started working as a civilian. He was there every night for dinner and made sure that if we needed help with homework, he was there. If we wanted something, he ALWAYS made sure that we had it. We didn’t even have to finish telling him what it was that we wanted before he said “If you want it, you can have it!” That saying still works today.

When I told my dad that his baby was having a baby, he was devastated. I was hurt because I felt like I let my daddy down. He would still talk to me and love on me but it wasn’t quite the same. I continued with my doctors visits and he would want to be the first person to know how the baby was one we left. The day I had my son, he was there as well. Every time I called saying that I needed something for Dakota, my dad was there.

After having my son, my dad went out and purchased me a car to make sure that we were traveling safely. This came to me as a surprise! I was shocked that he went that far to ensure my safety. My first car was an 2005 Dodge Neon. This car was perfect for us! I was thankful that my dad was able to make sure that I was able to travel with my son when I needed to.

As the years passed, Dakota grew of course and my dad was there to upgrade my car to meet the needs of my son. What he did not know was that he was upgrading my car for another grandchild until Dakota told him before we had his surprise planned. When he realized that I was pregnant again, he took this one way better! I remember crying because of how happy he became.

When my daughter was born, my daddy was there and he wanted to hold her. That was something he didn’t do to me when I was a baby because he said I was so small and his hands were so big. He was scared he would drop me. At the hospital, he picked up Jinae from her basinet and that melted my heart. To see him smile and fall in love all over again was beautiful to see.

With my children being older now, they know that all they have to do is call Paw Paw when they want or need something. He will go to the ends of the earth to make sure that my kids, his grandkids have what they want. (He said I provide their needs!) Every Thursday, when I have class, my dad stops what he is doing and make sure that he has my children so that I can go to school! My children look forward to it as well because they can get unlimited amounts of junk food, binge watch tv, and dance and be wild with him!  This brings me simple joy!

I would not know how I need to be treated as a woman if it wasn’t for him loving me the way he did (and still do) growing up. He is truly a blessing to me and I am forever grateful for him!

 

Jesse Jr.

My brother. Someone that I can talk to regarding the matters of my heart or just to get on his nerves.

Growing up my brother and I had this weird love/hate relationship. We would love each other like we were supposed to but then again we would bicker and not speak to each other because we were mad. I remember one petty fight was over the last oreo cookie. REALLY!? How childish of us to fight over the last oreo cookie! The fight was real and we didn’t speak for a while because of it. With us both being stubborn, that made the apology even more complicated. I wanted him to apologize to me for being rude to me over a cookie and he wanted the same thing from me. Oh, how things have changed!

Jesse is 20 months older than I am. We were always together until he left to go to college at UNC-Chapel Hill. It was a bittersweet moment. I felt like I finally got him out the house and now I didn’t have anyone to fight with when it came to me eating the snacks that I wanted! I remember my senior year in high school, when I found out I was pregnant, my brother drove home to see me every month during my pregnancy. I never understood why until he told me. I thought he was coming home to see our parents, get a home cooked meal, wash clothes, see friends, you know the usual things college students do when they are home. But he told me that he was coming home to see me every month and it really made me see him more than I have before. I don’t think I ever told him how I appreciated that. When I had my son, Jesse was there. He drove 2hours home to come meet his nephew! When I saw him walk through the door at the hospital, it made me cry! I did not think he would be there in time. Just thinking back on the moment makes me want to cry all over again. There I was, 18, scared, just had a baby, confused and loved in the same breath.

When I graduated from college with my 2 year degree, Jesse was there.

When I had my second child, Jesse was there, literally! Jesse got stuck in the room while I was getting prepped to give birth to my first daughter!

When I had my third child, Jesse was there, again!

My brother graduated from college and guess what? I was there for him, cheering him on with his nieces and nephews!

When Jesse had a house fire in greensboro, I met up with our mom and we drove to see him to ensure he was safe. When he was released from the hospital, we were there for him. We drove him home to Salisbury so that we could nurse him back to health. I went out to the store and made sure I had everything he needed since he was not able to drive or really do much for himself.

Next year, we are supposed to graduate from college again! I will have my Bachelors Degree in Birth-Kindergarten and he will have his Masters! We graduate a week between each other. We were scared that we would have to miss each others special day. I am excited to see him walk again as I am sure he is feeling the same about me!

I am so extremely thankful that my brother is alive to go through this thing called life with me. He supports me and I support him. We are definitely far from hating each other like we did in our youth!

A Mother’s Prayer

“Last night, I prayed on a falling star, that you never have a broken heart. Though the world is cold, just remember who you are! And I pray that you never have a rainy day and no matter what people say even when it hurts, it’ll be okay.”

“Those dreams you have I want you to chase them, chase them. This bond we got, let nobody break it.”

These lyrics are from songstress K. Michelle. They make me cry every time I hear them. They put things into perspective for me when it comes down to my children. I feel like I am always ripping and running and they are only seeing me in a snapshot. I feel guilty most times because I know they need me but I am so focused on school that I miss out on the things that brings them the smallest joy. Most days, my children rush home to complete homework but to play a board game with each other. I would love to join in on their fun and play with them. I need to slow down and enjoy them while they are still here in my house because they will grow up on me and I will be sad because I missed out on them growing up.

The song makes me think about the path that I want my children to follow. I know that they will have their own dreams in life and will follow what makes them happy. I just pray that whatever they choose to do with their life, they choose something that I will be proud of and they will give it their very best! I would love for my children to be Doctors, Lawyers, Nurses, Teachers etc… But if they are fine with working in a factory, driving a bus, being a hairdresser, working with the elderly…. Whatever it is that brings them the most joy, I want them to give it everything they have and live out their dreams!